Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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