i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
