Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
wow bdsm is so cute
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
