So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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