Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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