dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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