I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
