why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
