Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
