spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i believe in u and ur pee
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