great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
