I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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