Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
