Me. At least after what I've been through.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
