Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
