Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
