As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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