"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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