In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
