oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
