Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
