can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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