You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
