Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
