It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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