I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
