turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
