So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
