problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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