Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
