And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
