she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
