And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
