it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
