Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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