why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
