I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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