I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
