i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
