i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I looked at my own cervix.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
