she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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