Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
