What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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