you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
