Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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