Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
