Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
