I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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