we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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