batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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