I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
